Self Portrait with Lamby, by X.H.

Ask Rachel: Jetlag

Tim C said...
Dear Rachel:

Recently I traveled abroad, to another hemisphere in fact. It was winter there and summer here, in America. When I returned to America, I found that I was unable to adjust to the summer heat and also the time zone changes. I cannot sleep and am awake and ungodly hours. My question, then, is how to overcome jetlag?


Dear Tim:
If history is any indication, I will probably not be able to help you on this one (see my previous post titled "Summer, and Rachel is Crazy"). One thing you could do is get a job teaching 12-15 year-olds for seven hours a day. That has been working for me.

My last transatlantic flight was nine years ago, and I was a foolish teenager, who didn't let things like jetlag ruin my fun. Try to recapture the spirit of youth. Tell jetlag, calmly but firmly, that you won't let it stand in your way of a good time. It can't help but listen, and once it listens, it will have to obey.

Do you want to Ask Rachel? Leave your questions in the comments.

The Trough

I really have nothing of interest to write at the moment, given that my brain is mush (only two more hours of teaching left!). I am killing time because dinner, though scheduled for 5:30-6:30, is virtually impossible until at least 5:45, probably 6:00. Why? Because children are mangy screaming animals! If the line is not moving at the pace they desire, they attempt to speed things up by walking in to you seven times. If they are at the hot dog station and see something they want at the sweet station, they run like madmen to poke their hands onto all of the desserts, not stopping for anyone who gets in their way.

It is not much better in the classroom, thanks to our rotating chairs. The funny thing is that they only time they stay still and are quiet is when you want them to move quickly from one place to another.

Fun With New People

Isn't it weird when you go to a new place where you have zero acquaintances and you think you see people you know everywhere, and the people you interact with remind you so much of friends and people from TV? Sometimes it takes a while to pin down who the person reminds you of, but once you figure it out, it's creepy and fun.

I am currently working with the doppelgangers of:
Maria from high school
Dave from college
Claire Fisher, aka Lauren Ambrose
middle-aged, Mexican Amir
mini-Kip
Chris Elliot


Some of those are actors, some of them are slightly modified versions of people I've known through the years.

An addition: Professor Robin, whose doppelganger continuously throws me for a loop.

Yesterday I was in Six States.

I am so sleepy, but Rhode Island is good. I already like my roommate and TA, and they are BFFs from last year. I would write more but I have no clarity. Pictures on the way!

Good News!

My mama is home, sleeping in her own bed!

Let's All Pray Together...

that my Mom is coming home tomorrow. She ate her first solid food today, took several walks, and is going off all meds except the antibiotic. She had a CAT scan that came back perfect and she's back to bossing everyone around.

Dear Tuscaloosa,

I miss you already.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SvA90J-YqM

Ask Rachel: Call for Submissions

You may remember previous "Ask Rachel" posts where I answered questions about baking and hair care. Keep the questions coming, and don't be afraid to veer away from the domestic. I will advise you on any subject.

Bartleby the Taper

I finished my job of cutting paper with an exacto knife and then taping it back together a whole day ahead of schedule. They asked me to come back tomorrow and answer phones.

But I will not be able to stop taping pieces of paper together, and they'll be like, "What are you doing? Your job is to answer the phone."

And I'll be like, "I prefer not to." Because taping pieces of paper together is so fun!

Author Photo Fun.

Yesterday I finally delivered on my contribution to the BWR auction. The winner was Michael M., and the prize was an author photo shoot.

It was fun.

Don't forget, writer friends. I'm cheap and available.

Gotta J.O.B.

Today the temp agency called and offered me a job for the rest of the week. My new job is literally cutting and pasting. They need someone to find certain marks on rolls of paper, cut them, and tape them to regular-sized pieces of paper. So that will be fun. Moments before they called I was checking my bank and credit card balances and wondering how I'm going to make it for the next two months. So the timing was good--I can put off stone cold brokeness for a couple more weeks, at least.

Working will slow the progress of the Harry Potter review session I began yesterday. Two years ago I read all six books for the first time, and always said that I would have another HP reading marathon before book seven comes out. But when I think of all six of those books...I don't think I can do it with everything I have going on in the next 1.5 months. So I watched the movies of book two and three last night, and started reading book four. I can manage to read 4, 5, and 6 by July 21. If anyone would like to be in the HP Review Club with me, let me know.

Jobs. Ugh.

For the last year, I've made a habit of looking at the AWP job list every two months or so, finding jobs I might want to have, pasting them into a document called "APPLY THIS WEEK!" and then never applying for any of them.

So today I found one that I really wanted! It was a roller coaster of emotions, because I know I would be good at the job, but they were asking for 2-3 years of administrative experience, which I do not have. But I have both of their preferred qualifications, an MFA and experience running a reading series. So I decided to go for it. Really. I was pumped.

But then I noticed the "job posted date" at the bottom of the ad was a couple months old. And when I clicked through to the official hiring website, the job was gone.

THAT IS ANNOYING.