I was really disappointed in myself on Wednesday. That morning I heard on NPR that Heath Ledger died and even though I wasn't president of his fan club, I could not stop thinking about it. Mostly because he was young, and he has a little daughter, and now he and Michelle Williams will never get back together, and because I'm tired of hearing about people my age dying. I just think that when a young, otherwise healthy person dies because of sleeping pills, you should get a redo. I think my reasons for being sad are reasonable. But still, there is a war on. People my age and younger are dying every day and I don't sit around thinking about that.
So I went to get my hair cut that afternoon, still a little ashamed of myself. I really like the girl who cuts my hair and we always have good conversations. And of course, celebrity death can't go unaddressed in the salon. At one point she said "I think it's sad...he was cute." And I felt good about myself because I thought that her reason was more shallow than my reasons.
Twenty minutes later the conversation turns to family life--her husband has been in Iraq for four weeks, and she's taking care of their three-year-old by herself for the next year. So there you go! You can care about the war and care about Heath Ledger too. The end.
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So, to clarify: I realize this anecdote doesn't justify my (or anyone's) lack of awareness about war deaths. It just shows that caring about the war and caring about Heath Ledger are not mutually exclusive.
Why did I write this on the internet? Blech.
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